Trying to prepare for reverse culture schock

OK.... those of you closest to me probably already know that I shall be back in Ohio for the summer...

yippee-do-da-yay

So, things on my mind:

1. I have to find an apartment next year. I can't stay in the Studentenheim without paying for a room for the entire summer. Obviously I can't afford this. Also, I have to pay for the month of June according to Mr. Peter the wanker Heimleter. I thought my contract said only until the end of May??? I must look through my documents and check. And consult a lawyer if necessary.

2. How the hell am I going to survive 4 months in the United States? I heard they don't even have espresso there!! (JOKING) Jesus christ. I have to fly to New York on the 4th of June, and then my lovely brother and his girlfriend shall pick me up. I really do love them... lovely people really... but they're going to expect me to show them about a metropolis when I'm jetlaged when I really will just want a nice bed to sleep on and something... something... FESTGELEGT to wake up on.

3. My love life here is an absolute mess. Again, those of you close to me probably know the story.... what the hell awaits me when I come back? Should I keep fighting to be free and single?? I HAVEN'T BEEN PROPERLY LAID IN AGES!!!! Actually, I think the last time was actually in ATHENS!!! AAAHHHHHH!!!!!! (I really think L is the best option... but I don't trust me to trust myself)

4. I really don't want to pack all of this shit up. Why am I so disorganized??

5. I'm in debt. Why did I give citibank my Austrian address? Will I ever escape this malady? I am EDUCATED and TALENTED!!! When is somebody going to pay me more than 1,000 euro a month??? How is it that some people have everything and others have nothing?? Perhaps I should find a real profession.

Anthropology through Television

My good friend Nina has flow to northern Germany for a week to visit her family, and she very generously offered to lend me her television during her absence. Thanks to the free (well, included in my rent) cable available in the Studentenheim, I'm taking this as an opportunity to play anthropologist and make note of some cultural differences in TV land. I have never been an avid TV viewer. Throughout my college years in Athens, I never subscribed to a cable or satellite service since I found that most programming generally insulted my intelligence and was a monumental waste of time. Many of my friends here were shocked to learn that I was an American without a TV. Imagine that! Who knew that such people existed? I always found that reading a good book or perhaps watching a well-selected film was more stimulating than the incessant string of verbal and visual incontinence spewed across the North American continent.

I would like to report that European television is radically different and more sophisticated... but on the whole its really not, with a few exceptions. Lets start with the crème de la crème: daytime TV. In the afternoon hours the airwaves are crowded with "Gericht-Shows", which are so tawdry that they make "Judge Judy" look like a serious documentary. They're set up in a similar way - your basic court-TV - with a victim, suspect(s), lawyers, and judges. But, they're obviously scripted and generally play out like a soap opera. I'll spare you the details, but in one episode of "Familien Gericht" that I managed to watch in full, a 50-something year old woman was unknowingly smeared with some sort of potion by the accused before the "trial" started. When she appeared before the court she began acting very drunk and blatantly hit on the judge and even began unbuttoning her top before the judge called a medic. It was very special. High quality viewing, I must say. Hey, at least I'm practicing my German listening comprehension.

Things get a bit more interesting in the late evening. At this point almost all of the advertisements feature mostly naked women and telephone numbers for which you must pay at least €1.25 per minute. There is a channel dedicated to broadcasting nothing but mammaries and the women who own them posing on some sort of sport-themed set; be it a soccer field, boxing ring, or even an RC-car track. I think they must have been running out of ideas by the time they got to the RC cars. I fail to see the erotic value of miniature motorized cars. Very strange.

Last night I couldn't go to bed early, so I was flipping through the channels when I came across something interesting. It was some sort of film featuring a band of live dogs running around a large metropolis in Italy. All of the dogs had names, and it had a narrated plot. I got to watch the dogs run around Napoli and find their food in garbage piles. The main dog, who had some Italian name which I forget, decided to sneak onto a ferry to follow a poodle "of a noble house" to Capri. He managed to get the human family in Capri to adopt him by seducing the children with his cuteness, but he quickly grew bored of life in the Villa, because "a golden cage is still a cage". He managed to escape and catch another ferry back to Napoli, but he had to bathe himself in a dirty river before returning to his gang since they "would never accept him smelling of shampoo". In the end he was happy, having returned to the freedom of being a stray dog in Napoli. I have never before seen such a thing on television. It was odd but entertaining, and the dogs were obviously very well trained.

What conclusions can I draw from my viewing experiences? I'm really not sure... The only thing I feel confident in saying is that my viewing pleasure is a result of unfamiliarity with TV culture here and my ability to pick up a few more words and become even more comfortable with the German language. If I see anything else worthy of reporting in the next week, I'll be sure to provide my loyal readers with a synopsis.

Accidental Art

I am constantly tortured by a cryptic message perpetually beamed into my room from the office complex across the parking lot. It appears to say "Out of You". I'm not entirely sure because it's a bit too far away to be able to read clearly. Why? What office needs to be reminded of this seemingly senseless message for 24 hours a day 7 days a week? Who would pay for an LED display for such a purpose? I attempted to veryify the content of the message with the zoom lens on my camera, but this is obviously futile without the aid of a tripod. Nonetheless, the result is accidentally artistic:

Easter Fun

Today is the first day of the Easter break for me, which lasts a lovely one and a half weeks! I'm not really doing anything exciting, just staying in Eisenstadt to do some babysitting and tutoring to try to earn a little bit of money. Someone sent me this cartoon which I found to be rather funny:

The first rabbit says "My ass hurts!!" and the second one says "What?"

hee hee.

I also saw a billboard depicting a nest with two packs of Lucky Strikes in it, and the tagline was "Good Easter Bunny". Indeed.

To my anonymous comment-writer: Sorry for my didactic tone! Just happens I guess....
Happy Easter everyone.

People are so Easy to Impress

Happy Monday everyone- I was up and at it at 7AM today sporting the suit and tie again. My schedule at the Gymnasium was somewhat vexing, since I had to teach two hours- one at 8:00 and one at 12:30. So, I had plenty of free time to sit around and think about what I was going to say for job interview #2. Once I finished my lessons I started heading down the hill, enjoying the walk in the lovely spring weather. In the past few days its been about 20 celcius and sunny- absolutely lovely! As I was walking, a man stopped and got out of his car and approached me. "Are you the student from England?" he asked. "Um, the Englisch teaching assistant from America..." I replied. He asked if I offered tutoring and said that he would like for me to meet up with his son. He gave me his card and drove off. That was a nice unexpected economic opportunity... but it does feel a bit strange to be stalked on the street for language tutoring... such is the attraction of a native speaker wearing a suit! Thankfully he didn't take up too much of my time, since I had to be in the palace at 14:00.
The Hungarian woman at the front desk flirted with me before sending me across the courtyard and up four flights of stairs to meet with Herr Schimpl. He was very nice, gave me an espresso and a cigarette (only in Europe!!), and he didn't really ask many questions. He mainly talked about dealing with the Arbeitsmarkt in order to obtain a work permit. He said that they often take foreigners as interns, which would probably be the best way to apply for me. He asked me to fax a copy of my visa, and said that he would apply for the permit. So, he essentially offered me a job but made it clear that it all depends on the Arbeitsmarkt now. He said that once he had heard back from them we would look into different payment options, but assured me that I would earn enough money to live on. He said we would know within two weeks. All in all it went exceptionally well. So, sorry kids... but it sounds highly likely that I will be staying in good old Europe for at least another year (and hopefully longer!). I'll come back for a few weeks if I can get the time off and someone offers me a plane ticket (*wink wink*).

Meanwhile, I spent Sunday with Alexa and Konstantin in Hungary.

Here is the border, a whole 15 minute drive from Eisenstadt. I got another Hungary stamp in my passport here. I now have two.

We were on our way to Fertörákos, a small village on Lake Neusiedl.

Just a church I saw along the way.


And here is the Hungarian side of a lake. A lovely day, really.